Very successful families will have a pattern. This will look very strange because it looks like a formula and people will argue that each family is unique. That is true in one sense. In another dimension personal insight reveals that each successful family has patterns, which help them to foster positive problem solving ability. I should ask Aswath”s mother (he is a chess champion) and Vijay’s mother (one of her sons is a successful singer) to help me understand these patterns. They had unique ways of dealing with problems of parenting.
Anyway, let us see patterns one after the other.
- Prayer is a part of their life– Vijay’s mother once told me that “ they are not my children. They are God’s children. I pray because I have my own limitations, problems and difficulties. This can be solved only with divine help and intervention. Whenever I have had problems with my children, I have received help because I pray”. Disturbed families do not have regular worship and prayers. Most of the time, they try to rely on their will rather than on divine help. This is not any kind of orthodox, jingoist philosophy I am writing about. I have heard many times Aswath’s mother saying that she prayed and took her son out. Many of these families follow rituals and traditions easily. However much they earn or succeed they still believe that God’s mercy and love gives all these.
- Financial stability – this is a very important aspect. Men earn and there is a steady flow of income. Small or big the income is steady. This is an important factor in bringing up the children
- They respect elders- mother- in- law is not seen as an enemy. The number of fights is very less. For example, a chess champion mother gets along very well with her father- in- law and mother- in- law. She says I never raise my voice in front of them. They will also not question me if I get up late or fail to cook some times at the correct hour. They are very Adjustive and cooperative by nature. For example Vijay’s mother still keeps her mother- in- law with her. They have tremendous love and affection for the elders in the family. Even though their behavior sometimes is difficult they are never scorned, ill treated and abused. This is one of the reasons that they have harmony. Mutual respect exists in the relationship. I hear someone saying what about if we do not have in- laws. Mutual respect for husband and wife exists. If you see, the partner’s focus is on bringing up children and not interested in picking up fights.
- They have good friends- their friendships are positive, healthy and useful. It is like a peer-to-peer network. Women who have affairs with other men variably have problematic children. If men have habits like drinking in the house invariably create difficulties in the house. Broken hearts and family arise from negative habits. In that sense, they have excellent friends who will be helpful and it is like win- Win situations. It is like successful athletes have excellent support from their friends. In the same way these people have friends who are positive and helpful.
- During transitions like marriage, child birth etc they have excellent guidance. I have seen very successful families take astrologer’s help and be guided by them. They do not scorn it as superstitions etc. they use a tool for personal effectiveness and success. Many so-called intelligentsia invariably get into long term problems because they are not guided properly. For example, the great Sachin Tendulkar went to Kukke Subramanya temple and prayed. His astrology guru or guide was there. Why? Very simple reason. He needed help in the major transition for his health problems, which he was repeatedly facing. He was willing to listen and take guidance. If Sachin himself needed help, what about normal people like many of us.
- Good qualities like humbleness and thankfulness- many of them have noble characters. They are thankful if they are helped. I know a lady who brought son after he won a major tournament and thanked me in person. Parent’s characters get translated into their children. Successful people have satvik gunas. Many of them are kind to the guru and very helpful to others at times of need. They don’t waste time in manipulation and deceit.
Problems lead to solutions – their ability to get along in a group, problem solving skills and conflict resolutions are excellent. In the disturbed family it is poor, and differences lead to fight, misunderstanding and repeated problems. . Parents tend to be too negative, critical and autocratic. This will bring in rebelliousness, arrogance and negativity in children. I have seen many of the families only lecture to children, they do not talk. Communication skills are abysmal. For example, children love to listen to stories, they love to express their ideas. Talk to children. Listen to them, they are the precious gift of life . You will find many times there is no problem. All children want is attention.
May the person who reads this blog be blessed with a successful family and lead a happy life
Astrologer K.B.Gopalakrishnan – 9840572247
Visit : http://www.sathyaprema.com